I think I always have but never voiced it. It wasn't proper or correct to call anything magic or magical - this was too fanciful and out there. Things new agers or wiccans spoke of but not little ol me in my Christian upbringing, living small in my closed safe little world. But I always did - I ate up Lord of the Rings at 14, gobbled all the fairy tales, made up stories in my head and wandered for 40 years in the abyss in between. But here I am at 42 saying - I believe in magic.
Oh don't get me wrong the words of miracle, and God moves, and the great strength of our will, have all permeated throughout my life and I am not here to dispute or argue or debate anything like this but what I'm hear to talk about is magic....and all things magical.
You see we live on what appears to be a pretty fixed universe where things move along at a pretty slow rate - yes I know about advancement etc. but things don't evolve in a blink of an eye. In fact our planet is such a paradox that you can see many stages of evolution in one shot of time (though I would argue even the earthly timeline isn't that linear as some 'primitive' tribes in my opinion are more evolved than we are). But underneath it all if you look closely and peer between the cracks of 'normal' you will begin to see the sparks of magic.
I am writing this as a new sojourner that hasn't been let in or learned how to fully use her new eyes - but if you look really look you'll begin to see the sparkle between the spaces of time. Things will begin to move at a different rate and your world will begin to rock. See right now as I'm writing this - my world is rocking and I am having a phenomenally difficult time putting my feet on solid ground because I don't even know where it is anymore. I am excited, I am scared, I am hopeful, I am doubtful, but I am still trying to move forward.
If you haven't seen the sparkle, or felt the shift, or had time to stop for a brief second everything I am writing will seem like a bunch of gibberish I must have written while spending too much time with some mushrooms, BUT, if you have allowed your worldly eyes to open to the otherworldly realm or just take a brief glimpse some of what I am talking about will resonate deeply with you.
What I am finding most difficult is the transition - the shift between belief and reality and the comprehension that there may not be anything to change but mere perception. Almost like getting a new pair of eyeglasses. The trees I have always walked by are still there but now I hear the whispers from them and I stop for a moment and though I have yet to fully comprehend their language it is there. The breeze on my shoulder, the mere glimpse of brilliance , the ignored tingle in my spine is beginning the slow recognition of the angels wings that brushed by. The line between death and life is beginning to blurr and what would seem to be hard, unresolved lives are chapters and characters that have been planted in my life to show me the sign posts. That the grief of a parting life is no longer that, it is the amazement of what can transpire in a blink of an eye - for this life time is a mere spark in a myriad of explosions and charges that make up the very enormity of the eternal existence on a non linear line of being.
Wow - I do sound like I've been smoking - so stay with me if you can. But if I have already lost you that's ok we will meet again in a different understanding.
There are those of you though that will read this with a giggle because you my dear explorers have gone before, have lived in the spaces where the sparkle resides. Have danced with the fairies and communed closer with the essence of all and the voices of nature. You are saying "look look another awakens and the earth shifts on its access again". Will I awaken in this lifetime - I hope so. If you are with me on this journey you will understand the yearning. And if you are younger than me - GRASP IT tight don't ignore it - fly towards it - become ALL and embrace that magic - time on this line goes much too fast. I am in wonder and awe and frustration that I can't see more. My mortal body and it's ingrained way of seeing is having a hard time letting go to what I can't tangibly feel but know with every fiber is there. It is just within my grasp - I turn and it sparkles away - but
I am not denying the magic anymore. Amidst the despair and the wars, and the hate and the atrocities are wayfarers, wanderers, movers , magic makers and magic embracers and I want to see and remember what they remember.
So as my sight and memory improve and I begin to grasp all that is, I know that those who have chosen a life resistant to the magic will reject all I say but the journey is beginning. I hope I am ready to face the rejection because the embrace will be worth it. If you are travelling this road or understand this journey I commend you. I want to converse with you - I want to share in your sparkle. I want to know how you embraced your shadow and your light and your Bigness. I will continue to write my fairytale but I think I'm envisioning a different ending......
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